
If you're anything like us -- perish the thought, right? -- you're pretty intrigued by that little piece of news about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard divorcing after less than a year and a half of marriage. It just seems so scandalous, doesn't it? Johnny and Amber started dating about a second after he split from his longtime love and the mother of his children, Vanessa Paradis, and if we're being honest, we always got a pretty sketchy vibe from Amber.
It looks like that vibe was accurate, too, based on this new little detail about their relationship. According to a source, Amber had some serious second thoughts after getting engaged:
"Before Amber met Johnny she was just a regular super cool hipster chick living with roommates who dated girls. At their engagement party she kind of got cold feet... she was just like what is this scene and what am I doing here? She kind of couldn't believe it was her life now."
Give yourself a moment to settle your eyes after they rolled so hard with the "super cool hipster chick" comment ... good? OK, let's continue.
If this is true, this is just one more detail in the sad, sorry thing that was their entire relationship. If you're not ready to settle down, know what you do? Don't settle down. If you're going to marry someone, your mindset should be "I can't believe this is my life now," but in a good way. Not in this super cool hipster chick way.
Really, though Amber is 22 years younger than Johnny, the issue here is just some real massive immaturity. Just look at Johnny -- he's such a long ways from the cool, interesting, swoon-worthy guy he used to be. These days he's in severe midlife crisis mode, wearing all those accessories and throwing away a 14-year-long relationship and a family to get with some hot young thing. It's sad to say, but it's embarrassing.
Johnny, honey, please, just get it together. Trust us, being 52 years old and actually acting like it can be hot. You need to get out of this downward spiral, and fast -- it won't be soon enough to save our opinion of you, but it might be soon enough to live a happy, fulfilled life.

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